Outage

We all know how difficult the above word can be within an orginization, big or small.  Here are some things that do not help the IT people get by:

1. Shouting or Raising your voice.
2. Crossing your hands over your chest
3. Suggesting perhaps changing ISP's
4. Calling and leaving multiple voice mails.

If any of this is spurt from a fellow employee ask them if they would not mine stepping into your shoes for a bit while you take a hearty lunch break.  We all know that people can not stand it when IT folks start jibber 
jabbering in their own language.  
In this case simply start explaing to them the problem in the most 
conveluted IT terms known to man.  
This will make them stop, pee and walk away all at the same time.  
MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.