Sunday, September 14, 2008

'Murican Sensativity

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No post before has needed some type of disclaimer more then this one. If you take a second to search the blog for the word "turducken" and take a second to think about the word that is numero-uno in the title you will have a good clue on what is about to unfold. If this is a sensitive subject for you, well cowboy up or go cry into your crotch..whichever you feel the need.

American football is a rather large part of our autumn Mondays and now....and I doubt God would bid it, Sundays. But if we were to really take a second and look back into football's past we can see its origins stemming from european football (soccer for the yokels) and rugby. Rugby first came about around 1823 at the Boy's Rugby Club in England and soccer probably showed up a little earlier in the 1820's. It transfered to the US through the Harvard and Yale ivy's where they used to play football (the stuff we know it now) every Mondays, in which they called "Bloody Mondays." Boy-huh? Things have sure changed since then.

What seems to have happened during the migration of rugby to the states the Ivy leaguers thought things were to0 difficult and bloddy. This is indicative of the American decree that if something is hard, make them easier instead of fighting through it and being stronger at the end. Instead of keeping true to the "hardcoreness" and finess of soccer and rugby, we decided to be babies and stay to the easy, cushioned, and untechnical high ground.

Acrtually all of this makes perfects sense since most people who actually watch football want to sit on their rear ends, sipping beer on Monday nights and not really have to think; simply get up really quickly and shout some incoherent remark when something good, or bad happens. This is assisted by horrible anouncers who have so many numbers on each player they probably could tell you what kind of food the players ate for dinner. In addition the screen is bombarded with little arrows and numbers since we as the watcher can not read the white numbers painted onto the field or remember how many downs are left. Nope, no brain needed.

I say bring back Bloody Mondays and get rid of the sluring maniac that is John Madden. Take away all the nanny pads along with the helmet and let them basically play rugby in which you can throw forward. This would make the game a lot more fun, hardcore and maybe fans would actually need to pay attention to know what is going on. In addition, I am almost positive this would lower heart attachs, strokes, spousal abuse and raise short term memory retention. We all love when NASCAR cars crash (why else would you watch it) so why do we love when a bunch of people protected by pads crash into other people. One good tackle and someone doesn't get up? Makes you think a little more then this current "sport" does.